A Woman Visible

Search for beauty. Search for adventure. Search for the visible you.

Monday, October 16, 2006

One more thing...

Please keep me in your thoughts. I am wrestling with a bout of bronchitis, and can't get rid of my cough. It seems like a trifling thing, but I really want to be well.

I am also wrestling with where my career is going next. I'm not sure that the Local Technical College is going to continue to be my workplace for very much longer. I've just started my third year as a full-timer, but things are not very nice there right now. I can't really share a lot (on the off-chance that some of you out there work at the LTC and might get me in a mound of trouble), but I will say that corruption and loss of focus on the right things can really destroy a good thing. When we lose our ability to consider the students as customers and consumers of what we are offering, and we begin to think that destroying the careers of others is a valid activity if it means that we gain more power, then we need to stop and rethink our goals.

Maybe I'm an idealist (most of my friends would give a resoundning, YES!), but why can't we just do what we're supposed to do and take care of our students. Without them, we are a set of empty buildings, and a set of empty instructors. We could just as easily be flipping burgers at the nearby McDonalds, or serving lattes at the nearest Starbucks.

I got into education to help people gain a better life in the same way I did--by getting a higher education. Instead, I'm witness to people hurting others for forward their own careers, people ignoring the students that need the most help, and people acting like they own the universe because they have a title in front of their name.
All of this breaks my heart.

So, anyway, be sure to lift up prayers and the like for me and the rest of my friends at the LTC.

A Little First-of-the-Week Empowerment

Over the summer, I was in Starbucks one day, and I heard this wonderful album playing. Gina liked it too, so she asked who was singing. We were told it was India Arie. I had heard of her, but never really listened to her music. So, a few weeks later, when I was in Starbucks again ( I have to support my stock), I bought a copy of the album, called Testimony: Vol. I, Life and Relationship.


It's an album about her and her life thus far. It's about her journey as a woman. What makes this album so amazing is that her journey speaks to my own journey. Her testimony could just as easily be my testimony. This doesn't mean that this is a plain-toast, middle of the road kind of album. The songs are connective, encouraging, empowering. She doesn't wallow in sorrow, or in her difference from others. She revels in her being who she is, and reminds me to do the same.

I think that we often forget the power we can gain from the words and experiences of other women. This is something we need to remember. We, as women, are wired to connect to relationships to others. Our society tends to make us focus on our relationship with men--but men often don't know what to do to validate us as women. Men do a lot of things right, don't misunderstand me, but the people that really get us where we are as women are other women.

These other women are women that should be chosen with care, and a bit of the hand of God. A woman can accomplish anything as long as she has a strong circle of girlfriends to lift them up. Wonder why we adore movies like Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants (besides the hot Greek guys...)? It's because of the "sisterhood" part. I've found that my sisterhood includes women who are like me--smart, opinionated, and have a wicked sense of humor. Age is not a factor, as I have women in my sisterhood who are older and younger than I am, have different talents, different professions, different needs. What connects us is our thoughts, beliefs, strengths and weaknesses--and the willingness to love in spite of all of those things.

As I listen to India, I can feel the presence of these special women in my life. I can hear them rallying around me, just like I hope they feel me rally around them. It is not always easy being a woman, especially a woman who is single, but would like to be otherwise. Still, there is something about sharing that female experience with others. Our girlfriends are a blessing in our lives.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Ok...I'm Trying Really Hard to Get Back on This Horse

Yes, it's been a while since I posted. Go ahead, harangue me (Willena does often) ;-) So, what's going on with this woman who's trying her best to be visible?

1. I'm still working on the EHarmony thing. I think it's a bust. I've been on since August, and I have had exactly 0 (as in zero) matches. Or, as the screen says:

Our matching system was not able to find any new matches for you right now.

So much for the touchy-feely stuff they espouse in their advertising. They want all of their members to be
happy--hmmm--seems to me that they actually might be more interested in the money. I'm not sure that they really understand how getting exactly no hits can undermine a person's self-confidence. Their only answer to all of this so far is that finding the right match takes time. This is something I already know--I've spent the last nine and a half years trying all by myself. Looks like $150 and so-called experts won't even help me.

2. In spite of this EHarmony thing not working, I have tried to be positive. It's worked to some degree. I've met this really fab guy at work(I know, don't start. We don't work in the same building.) . He's smart, funny, and so cute! (He really is!). We've been to lunch a few times, and I enjoy him a lot. He's also very polite, did I mention that? He actually came to my classroom and waited for me to finish so we could go to lunch, and he opens doors for me. sigh...

The thing that bugs me is that I feel like I'm pursuing him. I want him to pursue me. Is that old fashioned? I don't know. Pursuing him has been kind of fun, but I don't want him to think that I'm some sort of monster woman that chases men. There is another woman on campus that
seems to be doing that, and yes, I want to rip her to pieces and spread those pieces across our campus. Once again, it makes me feel foolish to think those things, but I guess it bugs me because--well, I found him first. I keep telling myself that he wouldn't like her anyway because she smokes like a chimney. Still, just the thought of her messing with him makes me crazy.

3. I have been a reading maniac. In the last five months, I've torn through eight or nine novels, and as well as a few non-fiction books. The latest in my reading extravaganza was The Devil Wears Prada.
I read it in literally two days flat. I won't say it's the greatest book ever, but it was quite tasty. What made it a great read was simply the wonderful character development. I felt Andrea's fear, and Miranda's overpowering awfulness. There is also a real sense of claustrophobia and drowning, yet in spite of this feeling, you can't help but want to read more. The ending is bittersweet, and yet satisfying. Overall, a pretty good first novel. I haven't seen the movie yet, but somehow, I think perhaps there will be something lost in the translation.

Well, it's time for me to race to church. I've been writing all morning, and, as is usual when I do write on Sunday, I'm now behind.

More later...