A Woman Visible

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Thursday, July 27, 2006

Been Off for a Bit...

Sometimes a person just loses her way. It's true. I took a month off from posting, which means that I've probably lost every single reader I had for this blog. I apologize to those who were faithful because I wasn't faithful to you as an audience. I hope to rectify this situation in the coming days. I also hope that my readers will return, and I hope a few new voices will come into the fold.

I could make the excuse that I ran out of things to say, but that wouldn't be true. The truth is that I have gotten lazy as summer has progressed. I have spent the last month reading, goofing off, playing computer games with my kids--and enacting the American ritual of summertime. Summertime makes me want to loaf. I figure when I get old, I'll be one of those folks you see walking the beaches (hopefully, I'll be hand-in-hand with an equally old guy) for hours on end. That part of me emerges during the summer.

I have not forgotten my goal of womanly self-discovery. I am still working on reading the Dr. Phil book, and have started Gary Smalley's The Five Languages of Love for Singles. I've read many other things as well, including several novels, which may get discussed here at some point. I'm still asking questions, and making decisions in an effort to work through the stuff that makes me who I am. All of that will make it back here eventually as well.

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So, how has my summer gone? I'd have to say that it has gone in directions I'd never dream of. I've had some pretty amazing experiences. I've actually flirted with some men (stop looking stunned), and I have actually started to be bold in trying to find someone to be with. I don't know if that means I'll actually complete that quest, but I gotta start somewhere.

I've also re-met (I just made up this word) an old friend, who is now old (ok...kidding) but brand new. I'm going to go ahead and share Don and Coded Thoughts with you. This is an infant blog, but I think it has potential ( I know, never trust a man with "potential"). I first met Don in 1983 while we were both in high school. We were both very different people then. I actually marvel that we became friends then, but I have to think that I liked him most because he made me laugh. Lots of things happened in our circle of friends over the years, including one major piece of ugliness that destroyed many friendships, and caused Don to disappear (smartly, I might add). I figured that I'd never see him again, and if I did, I wouldn't even begin to know what to say. I think he felt the same.

Fast forward to two weeks ago. He e-mailed me using my high school nickname in the subject heading (a name I haven't heard in so many years it jarred me). He asked for reconciliation and forgiveness. I think I surprised him when I replied to his e-mail.

Monday night, Amanda and I met Don and his lovely wife, Tiffany at Starbucks not far from my house. We had a great time. It was good to get to know him again. Sometimes we get this idea that people can't change. For the majority of people, that is correct. What I saw was a change that could only have been from God. He is happier than I've ever seen him, and he's actually accomplishing past his potential. It was beautiful. Amanda and I have often said that we were the ones that made it out of the hole where so many of our friends ended up, but I think that Don must have made it out too--even if he had to dig from the bottom.

It's funny because in a way, we weren't the only friends from the past there. I kept sensing a certain someone (Amanda, you know) hanging in the background. Perhaps it was because I knew Michael would have wanted to see us all laughing and happy. Perhaps we summoned him. (For those of you who don't know about him, Michael was a mutual friend of ours from high school who died when he was nineteen. There is a hole in my heart where he used to live.)

So as you can see, the summer has been fruitful in so many ways. I'm glad I'm back to share the fruit with you all!

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