A Woman Visible

Search for beauty. Search for adventure. Search for the visible you.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Dr. Phil weighs in on Visibility--Should I Listen or Be Scared?

Before I begin, let me tell you that I'm not a huge Dr. Phil fan. I think his show works like every other "dog and pony show" host on TV ("dog and pony show" = most talk shows on TV). He finds people with the worst kind of personal issues, invites them into his lavish studio to make fools of themselves in front of God and everyone else who might be watching, while he tries to offer "sage psychological advice." I digress, however, because this is not what I wanted to share this morning.

Yesterday, on my Bellsouth home page, I saw a link to a Dr. Phil article. Turns out it was sponsored by Match.com, one of the thousands of online dating services living on the Internet, but the article was still of interest. It was about how single women can make themselves more open to relationships--more visible. If I had been a smart blogger (I am about 80% of the time), I would have posted on the article right at that moment. I went back this morning, and the link had been changed to another article, called "Leave the Baggage Behind."

The article was written by
Melanie Williams-Galuten and I guess she's basing her information on things Dr. Phil has said. I've heard all of his quotes she uses in this article before including "The past is over and the future hasn't happened yet." It's the same old, same old about not allowing your past relationships get in the way of what you may encounter in the present or future. There's a part of me that says, "I know all this... sigh...isn't there any other way?" What I really hate is that Dr. Phil and the author of the article may have a point, and maybe that's why I'm acting like my twelve year old about this. I am especially disturbed (is that the right word?) when Galuten points out, "if your bag is ‘packed ' there is no room for anyone else to get in. You must make some space for that other person to truly enter into your life. The relationship can't survive if there is no room." Don't you hate it when people you don't even know meddle? Still, in the search for visibility, this is some mighty strong advice.

After reading this article, I went on to research what Dr. Phil was saying on his website about this subject. Of course, he had something to say and had an article of his own called "Single and Sick of It." Apparently he had some singles my age on his show recently and they said a lot of the same things I've said about myself. They sabotage their possibilities,and I have to admit, I too have made a practice of sabotage. I've been too scared to open up to another person, made myself too busy, and been too harsh sometimes. This is probably stemming from that first point of baggage. So, maybe Dr. Phil has a point. Maybe I should make myself more available without being someone I'm not, and maybe, just maybe, I should dump the baggage. What do you think? Have you had similar thoughts?


  • At 12:55 PM, Blogger Heather said…

    I am not a fan of Dr. Ego Phil anymore..don't change who you are to meet a man..i fill my life with things I love to do and if "he" happens to show up so be it..I don't meet dates and put myself out there, so to speak..I have better things to do..I would't believe the hype...

  • At 8:34 PM, Blogger JessN said…

    I have taken the same attitude as you have so far (I've been single for almost nine years). I fill my life with lots of activity, and things I love. I just have to wonder if there are things that I'm doing things that keep "him" from drawing near. If that is so, then even Dr. Ego may have some good points.

    Thanks for the comments! I can't wait to read your site!



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